Being Dumped Versus the Dumper!

Dear Victim,

Firstly, stop victimizing yourself! After being dumped, it is important to empower yourself. Admit that life was normal without the person, and it surely will again be. Yes, the colorful memories would hurt, but don’t you think you deserved them: since you were the only one intended!

Being cheated is not shameful, as much as ‘cheating’ is. Disgrace is for the person who just proved to be unworthy, the way you embraced him/her.

 Whatever the reason be, isn't it great that accidentally you are out of the unethical commitment, much before the complex mess you guys would have been contributing to. But if you are a person who seldom opens up, you have a reason to be upset. You would definitely not want the person back in your life again. Your maturity would not let you hate the person too. You would rather pity the person’s cowardliness and insensitivity. Out of all the choices you had, you would regret: Who did you choose, to open up to?

It is not a fairy tale to have a dedicated angel to fix your wounds. Sometimes the fairy is in You: YOURSELF. Dig your own thoughts to help yourself overcome the darkness. AND STOP LISTENING TO THOSE SAD SONGS!

And Our Dearest Accused & the Silent Observers (the so-called Friends of the accused),

If after cheating or mocking someone’s emotions, your conscience does not question you; you ain’t yet bothered about the psychological status of the person you dumped? In fact you are happy, and perhaps have moved on with another one in your arms? Raising toast with same old friends, who used to catch up and appreciate the older one as much as they welcome the new one? Or perhaps they liked the new one more, because they can’t argue on your decisions: Your Life, Your RULEZZ!!! Then you should just not worry about the person anymore, nor should your Friends! Worry about yourselves! You lack the emotions basis which you could have claimed to be a human!

And never call yourself Daring, or for that matter, a MAN. You did not have the guts to confront or move out ‘ethically’!

Although for your victim, it is better to have been lifted now, than to have been abandoned forever, but you are that LEECH, the One WRONG CHOICE that would perhaps CLOSE all the right gates too!

And don’t just worry about what should be done to you. We leave that to Karma! If not you, we are sure you would have someone beloved already, or perhaps soon, to be taken care of. Just start taking extra care of your most beloved from now on!

They recommend: "Acknowledge the one who expresses to have been truly in love with you". Crap! 'They' have been spoiling many lives by quoting from some book by an impractically mad man. Rarely anybody means what they say these days, but for ease just prepare a proposal with the help of some romantic books or internet or friends. Practically, you should also see who is right for you, and NEVER SETTLE for ANYTHING you THINK you DON'T DESERVE!!!! Someone, who would not ask to change, but keep contributing to Improve YOU.

 So when next time, someone says: "I would take care of you, and everything that belongs to you!", or even, "Let's try this out, I promise it would be fine, otherwise I promise to keep things back in place (friendship), as they were, like nothing happened ever!" Just ask yourself to assess if it's a TRAP: 'Can he or she really do what just said?', "How?", "Does he have a secret magic wand or a TIME MACHINE, I am unaware of? :O :P Your questions are not embarrassing the person or the ability, but respecting yourself, to which the right person should really not have any problem! And BEWARE of the: "But, I want you to change this habit of yours!" Just throw whatever comes to hand, straight onto the face, IN YOUR MIND!

Disclaimer: I have been criticized to be more of a feminist, however, I expect this post would be a rebuttal or a compensation.

Commotion in the River

I flow Naturally
Resonating the Melancholic Rhythm
Being the Paradise to sit beside
from staring at Your Own face
To the Stars on its surface..
Don't shy away from the responsibilities of the Dependent Lives..
Yet am Sweet, Swift, Mischievous, Unpredictable: Full of Life!
Until I am stopped by Your Machineries
Attempting to Mould my way
Or Restrict my Flow...

I bear the Forced calmness now
Heaping to a Suffocation
A volcano erupting in Me,

soon preparing to burst
Would Break away all the Walls
Destroy each who Tied Me
The soothing persona
Would convert to
a Weapon of Mass destruction!!

Screw the Crap

Few moments might have been a game for YoU
To easily give up on
No matter how it gambled with my thoughts!
The much warm hug
might have turned into a careless spree
But it was a Stir
enough to revive me, again.. 
like never before, again
to extend my wings, again
to listen to the self, again
to scream through the words
to dream through the woods
the peeking rays
Rise, shine on
Get up to a new Morning!
For it wasn't worth
to be called as a Life!
For Life is Me:
Imperfect, Messed, Carefree
Yet Joyful, Responsible, Proud & Rocking!
I am too full to be half-loved.
A Solitaire, hard to clone
That's me, 'Asmi' !!! :* :*

So, Is it a Yes?

It's not about a 'Yes'..
It's about the Expectation that follows!
The fear of losing,
And the Pride of Getting...
To fill the need for a 'Willful' Presence;
The guts of both Public & Societal Acceptance!

Beyond that,
'Yes' is about the essence of Intangibility;
The wait over any Time & Distance.
The sense of reading the Silence,
The Curiosity behind every "Hmm" Replies,
Hearing the Screams behind the Numb Lips,
The patience while Madness...
And all of it Reciprocated,
Celebrating prolonged togetherness!

Musical, Crazy, Fun, intense, passionate & Daring..
Else the "Yes" can't be Pursued !!

Delhi: CALM THE SPIRITUAL INSTINCT

    Are you also among the many Delhiites, who LOVE to Travel, to visit the Religious Places to draw Resourceful Positive Vibes??? And work or studies do not allow you to pack the bags? Aah no worries! How about looking for the solace at your own territory. I've been sailing the same boat, where liking others' check-ins and pictures were the only option left, until a light struck my head: Have I explored Delhi completely, that am cribbing to go out? Hell no! So, here's how I found peace of mind in the weekends, amidst the scorching heat or chilling mist of Delhi. For the buZy-bees, Delhi is no less than the 'paradise of the exotic'! Listed below are few of the SPIRITUAL destinations, that I have explored on Saturdays, that made me realize Delhi is way beyond the artificial entertainment, parties, boozing etc. I welcome you all to feel Delhi through my lens.

1. Sacred Cathedral Church

The best time to be here is during Christmas or Good Friday. The Church looks no less than villa during those days. Its fine on other days too. I felt nice while lighting candles in-front of the Mother Mary sculpture.

2. Rakaabganj Gurudwara

The Kadaa Prasad (offering) is as delicious as a piece of snow from heaven could be. Oily though, its supposed to received in right palm. And I learnt to rub the left over ghee over both the palms.

3. BanglaSahib Gurudwara

Eating Langar is a must-do ji. Followed by Sewa to calm the soul, anytime in the day or night. The door to solace is open 24×7. To sit beside the holy lake, especially under the night sky, is a good place for some self-realization, or discover certain answers that lie within. There are numerous roadside shops too to buy souvenirs from.

4.  Lotus Temple

In spite of being founded by Bahai believers, the lotus-shaped shrine warmly welcomes followers of all the religions to peacefully recall their Creator.

Delhi: Shopping Hub

I am not a brand person, at least until I can't assess the quality myself. So this part is for those who know what they want and how it should be, not for the ones who like it hanging on a mannequin. Let me take you all to the 'Bargaining Zones'.

Old Delhi, for me is the heart of Delhi. I can sense how our ancestors were until the 90s.

1. Chandni Chowk

There's a narrow lane that opens to the Chandni Chowk metro station. At the beginning is a Chaat Joint. Replenish your taste bud with the yummilicious Aloo Chaat, and then enter the lane and look out for ladies Suit-materials at comparatively cheap prices.

2. Ballimaran

Famous for its shoes wholesale market, but only for the retailers who purchase in bulk. But there are few shops open for customers. To reach here, take a rickshaw from Chandni Chowk Metro Station and don't be surprised if you find a pair of fair quality shoes in merely Rs. 250, or a silver Peep-toe with a bow tie in just Rs. 200.

3. Azaad Market (near Tis Hazari metro station):

Fill your kitchen with attractive but reasonable-priced crockery from Azaad Market. Collection is huge: from artistic to ethnic to modern style.

4. Sadar Bazaar:

It is famous for its varieties of items available at 'Thok-Ke-Bhaao', including stuffs to organize theme parties, or decorative cute or glittery items for home. And not to forget, good quality studded bangles!

5. Bartan Market

Yeaah, it is self explanatory to acquire ilk of utensils. But what attracts more is a shop that sells great quality self-made purses and bags, that wouldn't let anyone enter a showroom again: Sylvia (#479). What's the Catch?? THE PRICE!!!!

6. Janpath to CP

The Janpath market lane is at a Walking distance from the newly made Janpath metro station. The street is filled with everything: clothes, bags, shoes, accessories, junk jewelries. .. just carry the eagle eyes along. The accessories shop at left, little ahead of the entrance is a must-go to buy any accessory for just Rs. 30 only. Although one can find the same at selected locations of Central Market too.

Out of the lane, walking towards CP, stop at the Regal Building, named after the movie theatre: Regal. It is one of the colonial times infrastructure: the height and style of the shop doors tells it all, as if entering a Brit's office. A bag store in the building is great to look around for leather purses and even travel bags: good quality and very reasonable price. On the street are again the accessories sellers: cheap, glittery, colourful and stylish.

Further ahead, in front of the Khadi store, at the corner should be the next must stoppage to buy dresses and stylish tops ranging from Rs.150 to 250 ONLY. I guess Honey Singh hasn't visited this place yet, otherwise it wouldn't really go like 'Sarojani ke kapde pehenkr jaati madam disco..' (wears clothes from Sarojani to go to disc).

Delhi: CLOSE TO NATURE

    Are you also among the many Delhiites, who LOVE to Travel, to explore the hills and plains, but work or studies do not allow you to pack the bags? Aah no worries! How about looking for the solace at your own territory. I've been sailing the same boat, where liking others' check-ins and pictures were the only option left, until a light struck my head: Have I explored Delhi completely, that am cribbing to go out? Hell no! So, here's how I found peace of mind in the weekends, amidst the scorching heat or chilling mist of Delhi. For the buZy-bees, Delhi is no less than the 'paradise of the exotic'! Listed below are few of the destinations, that can tak U closer to thr NATURE, which I have explored on Saturdays.

 I welcome you all to feel Delhi through my lens.

1. Okhla Bird Sanctuary

Naaah!! I didn't see any bird at all. So I am assuming it depends on how lucky the visitor is. Situated at the bank of river Yamuna, it is supposed to be a beautiful place, indeed it is, but not as expected. It lacks adequate maintenance. But the river-cum-drainage site is good enough to stare at for a while.

Okhla Bird Sanctuary

OKHLA BIRD SANCTUARY

Stay tuned as the list expands every Saturday! :*

Leading Shadow

Lessons do not always necessarily come from dilemma we go through, but also by observing others' experiences. Listed below are few of my learning shared with intention of if it helps even one person avoid a mess or get out of one.

1. Wenever we come across One's story of His/her dispute with another Individual,
No matter how convincing it is,
It is still a One-sided Story!
The Flip-side could be way more Interesting, rather Eye-Opening.

An insecure person wud have more eagerness to voice out his/her story than the one who believes himself/ herself to be Clean!!
 (May 28, 2015 Thu)
________________________________________

2. NO MATTER if one is Excellent in Hindi or in thr native/ regional language,
 It upsets me hw Indians are rejected frm jobs for nt possessing Excellent communication skills in English.
 (May 30, 2015 Sat)
____________________________

3.

> All Men are not Rapists

> All Women are not Money-Suckers

> All Beauties don't lack Brains.

> All Hindus are not beef-ban supporters.

> All Muslims don't favor Pak.

> All Pakistanis are not terrorists.

> Everybody in West are not racists; etc.

 Political/ Public speeches must include Disclaimers if d examples r specific, else generalization doesn't allow the Speaker to be an individual's leader, but a Crowd's Identity! & 'Crowd belongs to None'!

We are over the age f Few Individuals Representing the entire Community.
 (June 03, 2015 Wed)

____________________________________

4. At times Speaking your Heart out isn't an Option. ...

But .. Learning to Find Solutions, being Mum, definitely is!
 (June 04, 2014)

------------------------------------

5. While feeling sad to see how Your Ex is compatible with the Present one,

Regretting for not giving a second thought while chucking him/her out of your Life.

And then being super-happy whenever he/she expresses to be still missing you!

Yeah! Be HAPPY! Not because You still have some hope left to correct your mistake!

Nor also because s/He realized your Worth.. 

But on The Decision You'd made to Move on from such CHEATERS!

Once a Relationship is committed, No matter if you change the Dp to that of You both together or not,

What matters is that no one should have even the part of the attention that only belongs to You.

Be Glad that You're not His/Her Present one who probably isn't even aware of being Cheated!
 (June 04, 2015 Thursday)

=============

6. We take help from People whom we believe to be belonging to us. If for any limitation, We won't be able to help them back, we would be considered as 'USING THEM'!

Because the HELP so lent, was actually a 'Business Deal', expecting a favor in exchange!

Sad, but that's how it is. So better not seek Help wen You cant Promise to be available anytime & anywhere!
 (June 16, 2015 Tuesday)
-------------------------

7. When Life or certain specific situations pose a Question to us,

Its not to demoralize us with further questions:

"Why Me?" "WHAT Do I Want?" "What now?" "What's Next?"

But to Discover the answers the sooner falling situations would have, within!!

All we need is Patience & Keen Sight to Observe closely! [June 29, 2015 Monday]

________________________________

8. Until we are permanently Mute,

Let's Not Expect or Assume that the othr person would have Understood the Unspoken

None of us are perfect Mind Readers.

And we are Blessed with Speech for a Reason!!

So, 'TALK' !! [July 21, 2015 Tuesday]

Virtually Emotional

We hail from the time when we have been pampered by family, surrounded by relatives' tender and care, neighbours' affection, and what not. Gradually nuclearity took over the feelings under the pressure of better living.

Technology compressed time and space, yet diluted human relations, as every access has a cost now. But it gimmicked its own limitations by itself. So, if one can't afford to travel overseas to visit a friend, or can't make a long distance call, can pay onetime for internet, preferably an unlimited plan and stay connected virtually. Pictures posted on Facebook and Instagram does not really let anyone miss the aging of a beloved. Feel the care in the voice and gesture by making a Skype call. No issues if you are not keeping track of the dates, fb would remind you of the birthdays and anniversaries. Internet suggests human interactions too: how to propose, what to gift, what to speak in the first date.. etc.

SMSes have a newer version too. Not only one can just text, but now also check whether the text has been read or not by the 'Seen' feature of Fb and the 'blue ticks' of WhatsApp, which though has both good and bad consequences. This doesn't stop here. To intense the feeling of nostalgia one used to get by looking through the old pictures, Facebook has come up with the cool feature of reminding one everyday the significance of the day in the past years: who met whom, what happened.. everything! Infact like hyper-reality takes over reality, we have hyper-concern now, or a reminded concern. Chains of earthquakes shook the Northern India and Nepal, and Fb searched for you who all among your 'fb' friends are located at the affected areas and also checked their safety for you.

Seems what the virtual world snatched from us, it's trying to compensate all , but its own way, virtually. So, no matter how much one prefers to stay busy, one can remain carefree too, as we have apps to take care of the emotional crap, on our behalf.

"Technology would one day overpower human interactions!" - Albert Einstein. 

Ur Lens for Dilli

PEEP INTO THE PAST:

1. Nehru Museum

Gandhi Exhibition @NEHRU PLANETARIUM

I initially went to Nehru planetarium. And realized there is another facet to it: the library and the Nehru Museum. Nehru's house, and every artifact possesses his memories.

 Read the letters of the colonial times by Motilal Nehru, Jawaharlal Nehru, and also Gandhi and Gokhale at the Gandhi Exhibition on the 1st Floor.

2. Lal Bahadur Shastri Memorial, Janpath

This one was my personal favorite. It got me goosebumps when I saw the small steel glass Shastriji's wife used to drink milk from. As she'd promised Shastriji of taking care of herself, when he was in jail and the family was going through crisis.

3. Indira Gandhi Memorial

I was taken aback when I saw the torn bloodshed saree of her and the pavement where she was shot. It is still so intact as if a film running in my sub-conscious mind. Being a viewer, I desperately wanted the climax to be changed!

4. Humayun Tomb

When mind needs peace to 'think creative', such monuments definitely work. While walking around it made me think: if I had born hundred years ago as a human, I perhaps was part of this architecture, the lifestyle!

The must have Coconut Juice at HUMAYUN TOMB

HUMAYUN TOMB

5. India Gate

Walking close to the Amar Jyoti and the structure where all the martyrs names are inscribed, shakes the patriotic conscience.

6. Delite, Daryaganj

DELITE Cinema Photo Gallery, Daryaganj

 Delite is one of the oldest movie theater. Unlike other movie theaters, it still has the upper and lower stall and the magnificent balcony. Being made in the old times, the infrastructure is so strong, that the balcony that can accommodate about 300 people is only resting upon two side support and no middle pillars. Things have much changed though, but thanks to the gentle food vendor, I could still trace the marks of history: The marble-stone at the entrance hasn't changed yet ever since the theater was built. The photo gallery at the first floor takes back in the history with pictures of the late founder with the first President and PM as well as the classic actors who have visited the theater. The vintage chandeliers soothes the nostalgia.

 Watching a movie with the crowd that does all the hooting and all was a helluva experience. It made me realize that we are not alone watching the movie: such an ultimate fun that I might prefer it again over a multiplex, but for decent movies only. Since the tickets cost as cheap as Rs. 80, one can't watch all sort of movies here, because of the crowd that comes in. I was in fact warned by many friends to not to go there, but I am glad I took the chance; as a precaution, with a male pal though.

 The best time to watch a movie is the 6.30 pm show, neither too early nor too late, plus when you come out at around 9-ish, the unusual yet busy old Delhi street is amazing to stare at. I would recommend everyone to experience it once, since we never know when would this era vanish too with the advancing modernization.

7. Jantar Mantar

 Like me if anyone else is curious to know how our forefathers managed without a clock, this place can be of great help.

Do the Disabled lack Ability or Abled have Disability?

I just saw an old man sitting alone at a roadside with his tools. Its post noon, yet he is hopeful that someone would come to appoint him, for some work at their house. Either he would get paid a half-day now, or he would have to keep coming daily until he fulfills the promise of few pennies that he must has been making everyday to his family.

 Everyday is a struggle for fitting our incompetency in the void, which is starving for perfection; in the world where ideally nobody is supposed to be perfect. Yet who cares of the increasing numbers in cases of depression or stress, nervous breakdowns, or the worse: suicides.

Amidst all these, we forget to think of the strata coexisting in our society with a significant percentage: the disabled, often called as differently-abled, for the sympathetic encouragement though. Shonali Bose's 'Margarita with a Straw' is a beautifully woven film where she has narrated every aspect of such lives that is although so common, yet or infact, hence gets unnoticed. One-hour and forty minutes to feel handful of the life. The film deals with all, not missing anything that I can think of. And the ending is the best justice that can be done to this film, and may be applicable for anybody. 'Until one can stay happy with oneself, can respect oneself: can expect others to do so too."

 The system now has developed the consciousness to provide the disabled the right to rub shoulders with others. Families continuously put in efforts to make them independent, so that even they can 'live' after them. But sadly, we do not yet have an infrastructure to give them access to go everywhere they wish to go. Perhaps because our narrow mindedness can't expect them to have a normal social life, forget about them hitting the bars, consume hard drinks, and dance (atleast move with the beats). Forget the society, ironically the families themselves haven't yet accepted their 'normal' desires completely. They have reluctance to take them out to avoid the hassle of handling them, slowing the pace, the continuous stare and the questions that follow.

 The last thing their caretakers can think of is getting them married. The search revolves around in perhaps looking for a disabled or someone who is economically weak, or can be settled in exchange of a handsome dowry. Sail the boat towards the edge and get rid of it. Not their fault- how many of us would love to marry them if ever a connection develops, putting the disability at a side? Those who still choose to discriminate, are they really sure that a disability can never hit a 'normal' individual anytime in life?

The discrimination affects their self-esteem, which nobody cares for. As per the society, they don't need motivation, but sympathy! How many advertisements that we see, have employed handicaps in the lead?

 As such individuals are taken care like a kid in their houses, the larger context of their lives often gets wiped off from their families' mind: their sexuality. How many of us have ever confronted of them acquiring a sexual desire, to flirt, feel intimate, to masturbate or to even have a 'natural' sex. I intentionally added 'natural' to signify how their non-denial or weakness can be an advantage to those who get enjoyment in exploiting.  If finding a partner for them has been a task, imagine how would we deal with the ones with different 'sexual' orientation- that perhaps is another disease for our society. So if we are not ready to deal with our own constructed apprehensions, whom should we consider as abled and whom as disabled? Since the system has already categorized who are 'disabled', what I can think of to categorize people with such mentality is 'SICK'.

I plead everyone to watch the movie, think about it, and post opinions and feedback (if any).

Hopes in Marshes

I have lived through the past
Lived phrases in phases
Looked into the mirrors of hopes
to change the Chapter,
or turn the Pages.

I became a book
Which seemed 'Open' to All
None could figure out
what was open, was the Thick cover-
with spectrum of light
and different walk of life;
with fewer pages inside,
which were hard to read,
even harder to explain-
Hence, remained unsaid!

Have developed Hate for Sentiments
As misconceptions can't let one Survive
Yet I am hopeful, to stay Alive:
Hopeful to be Loved, and Love
but may be in the next Life.
Its time to ask for salvation
Since I had no right in this Universe
I don't belong to this world,
nor does it belong to me..
I was sent to set an example;
Now let me go
to as far away as I can.
where I can close my eyes forever
surrounded with dense clouds of serenity
that would heal my injuries
recover my lost essence.

Whatever my deeds are destined to get..
oh Heaven or Hell
take me into your arms!

I would rise again
Would Wake Up at the Seaside
To Write on the Sand
the story of my Regime;
To Blow Shells for my victory
and to Build Castles of My Dreams,
independently, without fear of it being encroached.
I would Walk over the Tides,
Swim through the Fishes
ride the Dolphins
Sleep in the Breeze.
Run through the Woods
Would keep staring the horizon
the setting sun and the last rise
the glimpse of the sun-shy
Would sleep under the night sky
Naming the countless stars
narrating to them how my day have passed!
Would spread my Wings
to take a Flight of the vast Sky;
Up on the mountain so high
Shedding off the dew from my curls
would dance as a free soul.

I was poisoned to insanity
So, let me sleep now
to wake up with testimony.
I leave this upon you to assess
whether I conquered surrender
or lived the death
I will rise aside the Seaside!

To hear back my story

of surviving the dying dreams!